Hey Infinite Beings!
Fresh new episode just dropped. Topic by popular demand! Episode 7 of the Infinite Well podcast — “Kicking Comparisonitis.” We delve into the concept of comparison by describing:
How comparison manifests in various ways, limiting us from our true expression. Natalie explains that this idea of social referencing started as an evolutionary advantage, but has gone on over-drive in modern day.
We get into not re-inventing the wheel and letting go of the “how” in getting to your dream. You make your path with every step you take, and so it doesn't matter what others are doing.
We end with an encouragement to use comparison as a super-power — as a way to gain inspiration and lessons from others...instead of feeling defeated, feeling inspired.
Here’s the breakdown:
01:49 Kate keeps it short and sweet by saying “People, put away the tape measurer!”
02:09 “We are all on the path precisely where we need to be” Kate.
02:36 Natalie confesses that when she sees people she admires she trolls the internet about them, checks up their age, net worth and where they were when they were her age.
04:52 Kate has an epic brain fart and calls her brain her “mind palace.”
05:09 Kate and Natalie talk about how we can turn upward comparison into an opportunity to learn and not reinvent the wheel.
06:54 Kate calls Natalie out and says “it’s not what the thought leaders are going to inspire us to do...’just ask someone how they did it.’”
07:20 Natalie defends her point by describing how in Law of Attraction work you “let go of the ‘how.’”
10:20 Natalie talks about “editing” her past in her mind and catching herself and reminding herself that her path led her to where she is today
11:24 Kate shares she does it too in the case of “if I had just gotten over my fears of starting sooner than I would be farther” (about starting a coaching practice.)
11:42 There’s no time like the present. This is where change can happen. Kate changes it to there’s no time BUT the present.
13:06 Natalie says “it’s a bad thought habit where I’ll go into comparison, I’ll do my little rabbit hole thing, [...] and then I catch myself and say ‘wow, this is not helpful thinking or behavior, what can I think or do instead? What do I know is good for me? And what do I know actually does support me in having the life that I want and achieving the goals?
13:58 Kate describes what comparisonitis is like for her. She feels it as fear, sadness, darkness, panic, hopelessness and despair. “Someone else is already doing what I want to do. And they’re doing it better than I can do it. So I should just quit. Why should I do it?” And then there’s that moment of panic, because this is “my thing.”
14:33 Kate says “it’s getting quicker and quicker between times when I’m like ‘just...mm...sh...no...It’s one of those days where I don’t trust my thoughts! Let’s check in in a week.’”
Kate uses hiking trails and labyrinths as a symbol for life’s paths and comparison.
Kate drops this gorgeous quote in Spanish “El que solo busca la salida no entiende el laberinto, y, aunque la encuentra, saldrá sin haberlo entendido.” -José Bergamín. Translation! Those who only look for the exit, don’t understand the labyrinth, and although he will find it, he will have left without having understood it.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” -Joseph Campbell
Kate says about your path “it’s not already there, you forge it. It’s scary because you don’t know where it goes. It gets misty off in the distance. But you don’t have to know where it’s going you just need to know what the next step is and we always know what the next step is...we can feel it.”
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” -John Lennon
19:30 Natalie shares that when she gets into comparison mode she tells herself “repetition is how we learn,” “the way I learn new concepts and new messages is by hearing the same thing but from different people in different ways.” Everyone has a different angle.
21:42 Kate says “That’s not what we came here for...to stifle our own creativity.”
22:55 Natalie gets into the idea of comparison having an adaptive evolutionary benefit and how in modern society we’ve taken it to the extreme and now it’s a detriment to our thriving.
24:59 Natalie and Kate talk about how “When we lived in tribes we didn’t know what was happening with every other tribe in the world.” Even just a few generations ago, you were comparing yourself to the other people in your immediate community and now we’re comparing ourselves to everyone in the world.
27:27 Kate says “We can renew our gratitude for this life and this body that we inhabit because this is the only one that we get to experience this world through right now. We can’t experience it through anyone else but for our own body and mind. So let’s just do let’s do this one really well.”
Without further ado, here is episode 7 of the Infinite Well podcast! Enjoy.
Now we'd love to hear from you! What resonated? What didn't? If you have an opinion, please share it in the comments section below. If you have a question you'd like us to address from our perspective in a future episode, please ask us! You can use the SpeakPipe widget below and you may be selected to have your question answered on air.